Thursday, December 31, 2009
If I Mattered To You, Then All I would See, Is Indigo.
Okay...Here's The Sad Part, We weren't even together and he still broke my heart. Why do I always end up liking someone so much that it hurts when they say that they like someone else? This one dude...He'll never know exactly how much I like him. Everytime he talks about this girl he likes it's like my heart is splitting open more and more. It's always like this with guys I like...but he's the one guy that I've liked more than any other guy, even Ivan. I'll never forget Ivan. He was the one who broke the most important promise I've ever wanted anyone to keep. But I can't tell this guy that. Why? Because he's madly in like, he might even love her, with this other girl. And why wouldn't he be? I mean, she's probably a gorgeous size zero with baby blue eyes and brown hair and no acne. While I'm a hideous size 14/16 with acne, brown hair and hazel eyes. I'm the girl that doesn't stand out in a crowd. She probably is. I just can't keep liking people like this, Especially him. Maybe if she wasn't in the picture, and if I lived closer, then things would be different. I just...feel so helpless right now. That might sound extreme, but it's true. I don't even know if he cares about me anymore. It's gotten to the point where I love talking to him but I also hate the hurt that I feel when we talk because I know that he's talking to her and would rather talk to her than me. I don't know....I guess I just need to get out of the picture and let him continue on liking her and not have him worry about me...I just don't know what to do. Penguin...if you read this...can you help me...please?
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Wow, where do I begin? The first thing is, relationships prior to say...25...basically are fully of drama and suckage. Even if they look like true love on the outside, they still are drama and suck: you can quote me on this. Just because you maybe haven't been on the inside of one of those, trust me. Suck. This is from Yo Mamamama Penguin. It wouldn't let me say that. I also sent it to you in a message on fb.
ReplyDeleteThe wrong love is misery. Not bittersweet misery or delicious misery: just misery. The right love is amazing and wonderful.
My belief is you deserve good and powerful things in your life and my very safe bet is that you don't even know a boy that can provide that to you at this point. You deserve so much more than an 16-24 year old young man is capable of giving...and quite frankly, you want to wait it out on guys older than that. If they are interested in you, they are downright creepy no matter how fabulous they seem.
Mr. Right -- when it's Mr. Right-Time, too -- will be amazing. He won't love you in spite of your 14/16 self. He will, in fact, love you because of it. Because of all the BS your culture, magazines, TV, movies, posters give you, you will really have to breathe and just take a while to absorb that someone as fabulous as Mr. Right loves you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE. Sigh. But all of that is in your future, not your present, because 16-24 year old boys are idiots for the most part and 25 and older boys who like girls your age are creepers.
Okay, that's enough. You are enough right now with no freaking loser boy in your life. Wake up every morning, tell yourself they are idiots and to enjoy every minute of your life because there will come a time in the future -- it will come faster than you think -- that you will meet this man and your worlds will start to revolve around each other. In the meantime, spend time doing what you love, spending time with people you love and doing things that make you happy. Soon enough, you will have to share your resources, time and energy with a partner and chickens. Stop worrying about boys, enjoy being fabulous you and get on with life. It all falls into place. If you spend your time getting your (#&% in order, it will fall in place in good time. Love you.