What I love most about Rivers is you can't step in the same river twice.

Sooooooo...12.20 Am on July 29th and I just titled Chip's Poem..it is now called Essence of July. (: I am laying in my bed because I am too tired to actually try to sit up. I am currently on page 166 of Candy by Kevin Brooks. It's a pretty good book if you ask me. I have a nasty pimple growing on the corner of my nose and its really annoying me. I'm gonna put on my old blue jeans, gonna walk out of here and into a street, would you put up resistence, would it make a difference? Would you know the real me? Me and my old Blue Jeans. Sorry, a little Miley Cyrus there. I have successfully covered over 90% of my wall with quotes and song lyrics. You would be impressed. I just hope mama doesn't find the writting under the posters and what not. It was either Saturday or Sunday and my mother and I got into this huge fight over the stupidest thing...Two Hamburger patties! I mean, I'm sorry that I had just woken up and I was hungry, but I thought the old woman had eaten at least once that day...but then I must admit, she is my mother...SHE NEVER EATS!!! I'm getting really sick and tired of all her shit. As soon as I leave High School I'm going to either move in with my father or I'm going to move to Denver and go to College there. I was watching Disney movies one night. Not the new stuff but the old 90's stuff that they had out when I was five and what not. It really reminded me of my childhood and How I knew every single word to all the songs. That entertained me. But it doesn't take much to entertain me...Shit, I need some sleep...like seriously. Cissy is really getting on my nerves. Don't get me wrong, I love the girl like Crazy and I love talking to her but it just seems like everytime I try to talk to her she either doesn't want to talk or she quickly doesn't feel like talking to me anymore. I miss the old days when we could just talk and talk for hours on end. But People Change, Times Change, There's nothing you can do about It. Ashley now...I love her to death but it seems like that everytime we talk she only talks about Dj. Dj this, Dj that. Yes, I understand that he is her boyfriend or fiance...whatever! but do I really need to hear about it every five minutes? I mean, there has to be more in this world to talk about then just him... Gah! I'm off. Lata.

Little Girl Terrified Part II.

I forgot...MY RUTGER IS STARTING TO WALK AGAIN!!!! I really thought I was going to lose him. I've been so happy lately. (:

Little Girl Terrified...

It's 5.32 A.M. on the 25th of July and I just finished reading Impulse by Ellen Hopkins. I've read the book and I don't remember if it made me think as much as it did this last time I've read it. Those three people were put into that mental home because they each tried to commit suicide. At some points in the book it really made me cringe. Especially when the author went into detail about Vanessa slicing open her skin. It reminds me so much about the times that I did that. Sure, I never cringed when I did it but about a day or a week later when I looked at the cut and the weak attempt at a scab trying to cover it it did make me cringe. And then when Conner jumped, or rather walked off that cliff it just reminded me of Ashley and all the problems in her family and everything that has happened in my life. I mean, Ashley has gone through alot in her life, I won't get into that because I don't think that she would like for me to do that. Oh, Today Chelcie contacted me through the yahoo messenger. I didn't even know that she still had me added onto her contacts. Anyways, she was saying how she was sorry and that she didn't know who she was back then and blah blah blah. I still hate her. Poodles are ugly. Blegh. Well...I'm done for tonight, I'm tired and I'm gonna go to bed. G'night.

Cut my life into pieces, This is my last resort.

Sooo...It's July 20th at 10.56 Pm and I am sitting on my bed listening to Papa Roach. So I woke up today at 6.54 Pm and I went to the bathroom like I do everytime I wake up and I come out and my mom tells me to come into the living room. Her mother and her were there crying and she tells me that Rutger can't use his back legs. So she's holding my hand when she tells me and I just let go and walk away, she keeps telling me to come here and I just run into my room and close the door and sit in front of it and cry. Meanwhile, she's outside of the door telling me to open it. It takes about a minute and then I just scoot away from the door enough to let the door open. So she then proceeds to open the door and she sits on the floor with me and we just cry for about twenty minutes. She then tells me that If he won't be able to walk by tomorrow then she's going to have to take him up to work and put him to sleep; I just continued to cry. I cried for an hour straight and now it's just on and off crying. I love my Rut. I might not have treated him the best but I still loved him..I'm gonna miss him molesting Ashley. I want a new dog to replace him...and I'll be nice to this one. *sighs* I don't want my baby boy to die...I really don't. :/ Well I'm gonna go...bye.

It happens to other people, you say how sad, you say poor thing.

The date and time is July 19th at 5.34PM. So yesterday I took my senior pictures and went to the beach with my parents. The pictures were entertaining. We first took the regular yearbook pictures..you know the kind...stand up straight, smile and look like everyone else. Then I took the cap and gown picture where I was sitting on this desk in front of this bookcase and I had a hand around a University of Houston diploma and then my other hand on the mortar board. I had forgotten my class ring so I had to borrow one of theirs, the only difference in their class ring and mine is that the ring colour was different. Theirs was gold, mine is silver...actually it's celestium(it's like....harder than silver and gold...I love it.) Okay, then after that I went to the beach with my mom and my daddy...The two divorced parents...It was fun to say the least. So when mama and I got home from the photography place we were getting ready to go to the beach and guess what...I couldn't find my bathing suit bottoms and my top was too small...in the boob area, so we had to run to wal-mart to get me new bathing suit parts. I ended up getting this cute neon coloured bathing suit bottom and this black and white halter top that ended up not fitting....it barely fit over my boobs. >.<>Kittie's Purple Cow is Open. so yeah, we went to the beach and I had to go pee for 4.5 hours...that was really horrid. but my dad came up with this really good solution. (: So anyways...the wind came rolling in...it got cold...hahaha. Cold day in July...In Texas!!! That's funny. Anyways...then we ended up getting a flat in the middle of a rainstorm...Heather ends up crying and hurting herself. The spare tire is four sizes too big, Halfway back home They get lost and Heather has to go pee again so we stop at this buckee's and she goes pee. When she's in line with her icee that her mother bought her this really skinny guy that was cute...he looked kinda like Fiore...It was weird. So this guy bought 2 cases of 24 pack Coors and a 6 pack of Smirnoff...ends up dropping the smirnoff and has to go get another one and then he comes out after us so I see what car he gets into. So we're driving down the freeway and his truck passes us....About half a mile ahead of us this cop car turns on his lights and as we pass him and the truck he pulled over I recognize that it's the same car that that guy was in! I was like oh my god no way...That is too funny. And then daddy is like "Now Heather, What have I told you?" and here's what he's told me. If you're ever at a party have your ass in the house by one in the morning, not driving up the driveway or walking into the front door but have your ass in the house by one." Andddddddddd That's it today..I have to eat and go get ready for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

I'm doing this tonight, you're probably going to start a fight.

The date and time are July 15th at 3.46 in the morning and I'm sitting on my bed listening to 'N Sync thinking. I woke up at around 3 in the morning from a nap that I took at like 9 in the afternoon...hehe I just wrote 9 in the afternoon. Panic At The Disco made a song called Nine In the Afternoon on their album Pretty. Odd. I don't much care for that compact disc because I feel it's too...Not themselves, if you know what I mean. I just finished Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets and am now working on Donorboy by Brendan Halpin. Chip sent me this book from Marshall Illinois because we were discussing it and he said that I might like it and I must tell you that he's right. I may only be on page 23 (there are no chapters >.<) but I still like it. So yesterday I woke up at around 5 in the afternoon and my dad was cutting the yard. I mean, it was our day to be together and all he did was cut the yard and then we played a little Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire but I quickly got bored with that. He then proceeded to go outside and smoke and when he returns he tells me he's going to go. I'm just thinking... It's supposed to be our day and all you did was mow the yard and play a couple of minutes of Harry Potter with me. Yeah, THAT'S really fulfilling your fatherly duties. Maybe I am as spoiled as everyone says I am. He made the comment that I went from little girl to a beautiful (which I am not) young woman. You see, my father spent most of my childhood either out of the country or in his own house with that crazy woman he lives with so he's always saying how he missed out on watching me grow up and it's like. It just aggrivates me so when he says that he missed out on watching me grow up and here I am almost a senior in High School and he can still watch me grow up from Now until I graduate but it's like he's making NO attempt at doing that. It's whatever though. So, after he left mama was hungry so I decided to drive us down to KFC/Taco Bell and get us some food. I'm a huge fan of sprite and of course they have Pepsi and their shit so I thought that if I got a Sierra Mist then it would taste exactly like Sprite...Boy was I wrong, It tasted like it had more lemons or limes in it than Sprite does and it was just, argh. NASTY! Okay, lately it seems like I'm losing all my friends. I'm not just saying that to be getting attention because I'm NOT, but it just seems like they are all with their boyfriend, or are always busy and whatnot. Like this one friend, I love her to death. She's one of my best and closest friends but she's going out with this one dude and it seems like everytime we hang out that's all she talks about. Don't get me wrong, I love being there and helping her but it does get annoying after awhile. And my friend Kelsey, We are always trying to hang out and make plans but whenever we do she always has something else and more important to do or isn't able to come over. It's like, I'm watching all of my friends grow apart from me and I don't know how to let them get on with their lives and still be friends with them. I feel like reading the book James got me for my 16th birthday 'Bad Childhood, Good Life'. Oh, I was having a conversation with Noel today about what's been going on and whatnot. He has a wife named Roxy who everyone hated in Culinary. I didn't really have a problem with her because she never did anything to me, But I didn't like how she changed Noel. Anyways, Yeah, They're married and are expecting a son named Zachary Dylan Vargas. I'm so excited for them, I really am. Noel is a really great guy and he deserves to be happy. We were talking about how he goes back to Missouri in August for National Guard training again. I then told him about how if I got a job and some money saved up that Mama and I were going to go to St. Louis to Wrockstock the Third, He told me that I would love the Arch. If I was to get a job and save up money I don't think I would want to go to Wrockstock. I was thinking that maybe I would want to go to Illinois and hang out with Madeline and Chip since they are like....right over there, somewhere, but whatever happens happens. *Sighs* I think I'm gonna go visit the rest of the World Wide Web and see what all I can get Daddy to get me for Christmas. Later.

With a little love and some tenderness...

Okay, so....It is July 14th at 8.44 in the morning. I haven't slept yet because I made the mistake of drinking a coke at like 10 at night. NOT the brightest idea I've had in the past two days, but oh well. So I was on youtube for most of the night watching videos by Kristina Horner on five awesome girls. You can check her and everyone else out at www.youtube.com/fiveawesomegirls and her personal youtube is www.youtube.com/italktosnakes. Anyways, she's pretty much the reason why I started to blog and whatnot. She entertains me, and from what Josh informed me she's hot too. That boy entertains me when I talk to him. Oh, and he just informed me that my blog was lame. I'm listening to Hold my Hand by Hootie and the Blowfish from their album Cracked Rear View. I've listened to them since at least I was 5. Rolling through the Hungarian border when I was five I was singing Let her Cry by them and i've just loved them for so long. It's weird. So, Mama told me that if I got a job and enough money saved up to buy tickets and whatnot then she would take me to Wrockstock the third in St. Louis Missouri but seeing as I don't have a job OR money that seems to not be happening. What does seem to be happening though is getting the boxed set of all the Harry Potter European editions for Christmas from my mommy. You know, It really amazes me at all the junk I have on my iPod. I want MY laptop back so I can put more songs on it but no, my daddy has to be taking forever on getting me a new battery. Grrr. I just burped. I'm currently drinking sprite. Woot Woot for sprite. Okay, so I am re-reading EVERY SINGLE HARRY POTTER BOOK again because, well....I have no life outside of this house. Oh yeah, The new movie comes out in around 15 hours. I am totally fucking pissed that Natalia cut her hair for this new movie. I mean sure, The way she had it in Order of the Pheonix wasn't how it was described in the book but it was still pretty kick ass, and then she had to go and cut it in a kind of Carol Brady hair cut. and if you don't know what that is here it is: See? That is not what J K had in mind when she was writing the books. Gah! I currently have to pee but I don't feel like it. So Chip and I have made this sorta pact where we talk to each other on the phone at least once a week and we haven't done that this week. Oh well, I'll inform him of this when we talk next. I really think that I should go to bed. So I will press publish post and give Josh and Cissy this link so they can read it and criticize it and have Josh Call it lame....Stupid boy with Australian Accent. That's right Josh, I just called you Stupid. Get over it. Later.