"Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable."

Take a broken girl, treat her like a famous princess, give her the best seats in the house. Tell her something true when all she's known are lies. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom, tell her she was made to dance in white dresses. All these things are true.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Hate is such a strong word and I must admit that I use it wrong.

Two days ago on facebook I made a huge mistake. I told all of facebook about how much I hated my mom. As soon as I posted it I regretted it, but stupid me didn't erase it. I had planned to erase it soon, but then I started vomiting, and I'm sorry, but when I'm busy trying not to vomit all over myself it's kinda hard to think about anything else. Yeah, Monday night and Tuesday I was vomiting all over the bathroom with what mama said was a stomach Virus. So anyways, I should have deleted it when I was feeling a little better after throwing up, but all I wanted to do was sleep because I had not slept the night before. I'm an idiot. I know that. I'm a disgrace to my family. I know that too. And being a disappointment to the family? I know that one too. I don't even know why they keep me around anymore to be honest. I mean, I'm never nice to any of them, all we ever do anymore is fight and it's always my dumb ass starting it. But yes, That facebook post was a mistake. I hurt someone that I love very much. I was mad at the time, I hated her for all of five minutes. I quickly got over it though, and I know that I should have deleted it, but I didn't and I'm sorry. Mama, If you're reading this, I know you probably don't care because you're mad at me. But this is coming from the bottom of my heart. I don't know how else to tell you that I'm horribly sorry for saying what I did. I'm a horrible daughter and I'm sorry. I just wish you'd forgive me. I hate when people are mad at me, especially you and daddy. When you two are mad at me, it just makes me feel like the worst person to ever live on this planet. This is my apology letter...I hope you accept it, but if you don't then I'll understand.
Mama...I don't hate you. I really don't. I love you. And I'm sorry.

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