"Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable."

Take a broken girl, treat her like a famous princess, give her the best seats in the house. Tell her something true when all she's known are lies. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom, tell her she was made to dance in white dresses. All these things are true.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

You come to me with scars on your wrist, You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this.

It's almost the end of the month...1.11 PM on August 30th to be exact. I've been meaning to write in this all month but just haven't found the time. I'm not the most busiest person in the world, but things just slip my mind and I forget to do things and then I remember to do it when I'm either laying in bed or I don't have the computer on. So my month has been like this: Early August my Aunt and I went to splashtown. This is the first time we had a Aunt/Neice day, and I had so much fun. We went for her birthday which was actually the day after we went, but oh well. Anyways, so we went to splashtown and we rode this one ride that is like a slide that goes into a cereal bowl thing with a hole at the bottom...That slide type thing hurt my back. Ouch! Anyways, We were standing in line and there was this really hot guy...He had a lip ring, his ears pierced and tattoos. (: Anyways...So I was like...staring at this guy in front of my, and I automatically sweep my eyes over his arms, because I've come to where I always do that with people I see...I don't know why. So, I was looking at his arms when I see them...Scars on his wrist, on the upperside of his wrist by the top of his hand, His upper arm, his stomach, his lower arm, and his leg. I end up just staring at that scar on the top of his hand/wrist area and I realize that without my knowledge of doing it that I'm tracing the exact spot on my hand that that scar was on his...To this day I still want to cut right there just to see what happens. I kind of forgot what happened the rest of the month. So I'll just go to school. So school started on the 24th and as always, I'm scared as fuck. So much shit is going through my mind: I don't want to go, What if we're supposed to wear uniforms and no one told me, What if I'm not allowed to wear this shirt, What if I bump into someone I don't like and they get all their friends to beat me up? Well, apparently I worried myself to the point of being sick for no reason. Everything went fine. I love my new Culinary class. I actually have friends in their now. (: Wait...I wanna do Josh's Smiley face... :?) YAY! Hehe. So...Wed. night, Cissy called me useless...Well....at least I think it was Cissy. Anyways, She called me useless so the next day I decided not to think about it, but I knew I would so I decided to take a benadryl or two...or sixteen and I must say...I've never felt better...other than the almost falling up and down the stairs and running into the walls thing. I found out that I don't talk much when I'm like that. Oh well. So this weekend I was supposed to go over to Jackie's but then Daddy calls me up and says I can't go because her sister is dating a black guy who told their grandma the rules of the house and pretty much kicked her out of her own house, and how Jackie lives with her boyfriend in Humble. He didn't want me to go because he didn't want me to think that that was the way things were supposed to go, and I'm like...I'm not an idiot, I know that's not how things work. She's a fucking nympho and I haven't even had sex once...But whatever...I'm friends with lots of Nymphos. Oh well. So then we have today...Today...I don't like today. Daddy's computer has a virus that has blocked me from restarting the computer from a previous date, it changes the links that I click on when I go to google and search for something..It's just...fucking crazy. I want my laptop back...I miss him...He needs a name...I'm gonna name him....Moody. After Mad Eye...May he rest in peace. Well...I probably won't write back here till the end of next month or when I get my computer back...so bye for now.

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